I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
