if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
