Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
