don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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