I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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