Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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