FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
