Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Jerry, you need to find god
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He shit in the fireplace
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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