YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
