I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
