I just cut my nipple shaving
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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