Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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