i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
