Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
