what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
