3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
