so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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