He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you had me at cake vodka
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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