hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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