that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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