...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
