Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
