i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
