I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
