So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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