shes about as inviting as chlamydia
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
