Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
