I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
