i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
BRING THE BAGELS
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
