i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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