i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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