yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You're like the curious george of whores
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
