I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
