Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Vodka?
Forever.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
