But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
