I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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