Pappa wants mamma naked
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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