went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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