i think my tv is drunk
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
