I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
