im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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