I just pynch a tree in the face
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
