i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
