i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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