i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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