I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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