i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
