Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
