i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
