Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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